Carefully keep in mind that often times unmet expectations can lead to disappointment that can hinder your marriage. I know because I have experienced it the first year I created faith-based resolutions to strengthen my marriage. There is nothing wrong with having faith that our marriages can be all that God created them to be, but we must have grace and patience, because our husbands are a part of marriage as well and it may take time for each of us to understand our roles and how to fulfill them as God intended us to.
Sometimes we can set unrealistic expectations for the new year for our marriages. Often times we daydream about the resolutions and expectations and then we are confronted with the truth that nothing changed overnight or even in a months time. We often find as the days pass that we meet resistance more intensely than we had ever before. Remain faithful! Pray for your marriage and invite God to help you and your husband understand your roles in marriage and how to fulfill them.
I started writing this post before my husband had a series of medical issues hit him back to back! He had a seizure in December and was hospitalized for three days as they ran test and ruled out everything that made medical sense as to why. They released him, deemed him healthy and advised us to follow up with a neurologist. After meeting with the neurologist a week later we were advised there is nothing to be done medically but state law says he can not drive for 6 months following a seizure. Oh, yeah, that went over really well! How was he suppose to work? How was he going to get to all of the job sites? How was he going to be there for his guys? Diving is what he does all day, his office is his truck! He is the only one working in the household, I’ve been out of work for months. We both were in an utter panic. I was reminded quickly that my marriage is in God’s hands, that my husband is in God’s hands, that I’m where I need to be and that all I need to do is give it to God, trusting Him.
My husband had another seizure almost a month to the day from the first episode. We had more test run and he has been diagnosed with Epilepsy and he has been placed on a strong medication. The side effects are rough, I have days where I am unsure what this is going to do to our marriage longterm. I have days when I want to disconnect, tap out, and surrender to the enemy and give up. I have days when I just want to get in my car and drive with the windows down, music up loud, with no particular place to go. In the middle of those days, I am reminded that the Lord is stronger than any medication. He is stronger than my biggest fears. He is stronger than any obstacle the enemy throws at our marriage. Marriage is a battle, it is not a fairytale, we must try hard not to set unrealistic expectations. Marriage is hard, it is loving when you don’t want to love, holding your tongue when you want so badly to fight back, it is praying without ceasing. Marriage is a lifelong commitment made between you and your spouse, it is an unbreakable bond that you fight through when times get hard.
No matter what issue you are facing in your marriage remain faithful in believing your marriage can be transformed, but we must recognize it will only get there as we place our trust in God. Let us all persevere through prayer, patience, and unconditional love as we fight through all the battles in our marriage.